PAST LOVE

I cannot remember why I left
I know that there was bad blood
And accusations
And betrayals
And a fear of deep water
And a cruel denial of
Any future between us
And I left
Furious with myself and her
But I cannot remember
Exactly why

I did not kill her
I was petty and small
And angry that I ran away
Instead of working it out
And yes, I troubled her
And her new man
I poured anger on them both
When I should have bathed in it
Anointed myself with that
Unholy anger
Pointless and shallow
I wished them ill
I wished them dead
But I did not kill her

It was the tree
And the cow crossing the road
And the speeding motorcycle
And the laws of momentum and inertia
And no helmet
Her new man held her as she died
Skull crushed in
She blessed him with her love
As I wish I had blessed her with mine

I am always there
Flying through the air with her
Toward her rendezvous with inertia
I did not kill her
It was the tree
And the motorcycle
And her new man
I only wished it so
And got my wish