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Lines

Chatting backstage,
a castmate and I
compare our mothers’ ages,
both coming on 80.
Mine is 30 years older than me;
she recalls feeling embarrassed
to be the oldest mother on the maternity ward

Tonight I play a man a dozen years older than me;
last year this time,
I played a man 20 years younger.
When I get home after the show
I wipe off the lines, the shadowing,
rinse out the gray from my hair

Under the fake lines
I find real ones growing
fields furrowed by invisible plows
gray at the temples
that doesn’t rinse out

Age seems more fluid
but time is rushing now
a relentless pace
almost a roar in the ears

Tomorrow night
I’ll sample my future
once again,

draw on dark lines
over the ones

that don’t come off.

Books Are Us

I am in my book she said
As I sat at the computer
Keeping up with my version
Of the twenty four seven news cycle
Mostly perusing art and science
With a touch of human interest
Since it helps me remember I am one
Not the transplanted son of an alien
Sent here to pay my debt
To a superior celestial society
When I looked up she was gone
The book closed on the chair
I hoped it was a story she would like
Plenty of whimsy and no violence

Blink

The sun that rose today—familiar, warm—is it the same sun as the last one I saw? Will tomorrow’s be the same as this one? It feels as I remember, brings as much light, seems about right.

Proving the continuity of things is tricky business; conundrum at the root of faith: belief in the continuity of things. Is such faith implicit in the workings of a mind? necessary? —the way persistence of vision lets us enjoy movies: each frame its own separate world, created by its own distinct swarm of photons on emulsion. Unique, but oh so similar to the one before...

What happens between blinks of the eye?
Worlds destroyed, substitutional simulacra, each a copy of a copy...
Madness echoes there, raving lunatic chained deep in the bowels of a cold and sprawling institutional hospital,
howling, howling.

Faith, then:
either letting go the worry
or not blinking.

straight up midnight

midnight is here:
the darkest hour
is now - midnight,
morning of sleep,
dawn without sun,
when pain recedes
behind a veil of black
and breath becomes
the only metre, silence
the only clock, dreams
the only sight.

my eyes, closed, roam
to follow impossible
possible storylines. we live
in a house we've never lived in.
we have children whose names
we have never heard, friends
we know like lovers, whose faces
do not register in the waking world,
complete professions,
obsessions, even whole
continents we have not
stepped foot on, that somehow
we know as well as our own yard.

perhaps when we sleep
midnight opens a gate
and we become like sieves,
the world's lives passing through us,
refining, mixing, going back
to their grateful owners,
flipping back to daylight
hours later, real again.

then again
perhaps these stories,
these near-realities, are only the work
of a brain that wants to work.
wants to make sense of fragments,
and so builds wholenesses
that we almost recognize as ours,
and midnight is work's starting whistle,
signal that it is time
to begin.

midnight is here,
so come, mind, come to work.
come, lives, mix with ours,
declare your
reality, take root,
linger in my heart
when I wake.

Worlds and Worlds

If you don't like this world
A bit distant in time and space
There are thousands of others
That might ameliorate
Your undeserved angst
Accrued over the years
From Adam and Eve
Getting us kicked out
For our cat like curiosity
Our need to know what's what
In all this quantum complexity
Where uncertainty rules
Even if dice do not roll
In some celestial casino
Managed by fallen seraphim

Life is a chancy affair
But maybe just maybe
We get another shot at it

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